Insomnie

Dear Diary

Today I stopped at a shop

I’m so angry

Next time I’ll wait for prime-rate

Late delivery

It’s triggering fits to recall

I followed all the painted arrows

I was completely six-feet sterile

Except for once

Cause the aisle was narrow

A mother bear with her cub

Glared at me appalled

Everybody thinks they’re a saint

Everybody thinks they’re in the right

I can’t compete, can’t complain

I’m just trying to sleep at night

In my PJs

I keep drafting an update to back-space

Never safe to engage in the first place

Why would anybody try?

In my room, all alone, I hear them

They accuse me of suffering delirium

I have done nothing wrong

Yet I fear them

So I shutter the blinds

And allow my phone to die

Everybody thinks they’re a saint

Everybody thinks they’re in the right

I can’t compete, can’t complain

I’m just trying to sleep at night

Awake or woke

It’s not a joke

You gotta be fast

React to all the facts

Keeping two fingers crossed

Behind your back

For all to see

You gotta be an insomniac

Claim you’re not religious

Blame it on the bigots

Stand up, but don’t stand out

Take a little stance

But baby, don’t get canceled

Leave no trace

Relieve no doubts

Rise up, rise up

Why are you sleeping?

Rise up, rise up

Why are you sleeping?

Rise up, rise up

Why are you sleeping?

Rise up, rise up

Why are you sleeping?

Nobody knows when you’re hurting

Nobody knows when you’re scared

Nobody knows the dreams that you dream

Until somebody hears your prayer

Night calls and the baby’s crying

Pratfalls, why do I keep trying?

Been leaning on my own shoulder

I’ll tell you when you’re older

Keep calm and carry on

So much easier said than done

When you don’t know

You don’t know

Nobody knows

Ohh, nobody knows

So maybe it’s time we cut our losses

Moving our mouths, but no one’s talking any sense

You want to know, but you don’t really

And if I told you’d think me silly

So why don’t we

Go separately

Into the

Night calls and the baby’s crying

Pratfalls, why do I keep trying?

Been leaning on my own shoulder

You’ll thank me when you’re older

Keep calm and carry on

So much easier said than done

When you don’t know

You don’t know

Nobody knows

Ohh, nobody knows

Why do I tell you all the things that I’m not

Before I get out a single thought?

Spend all my energy

Convincing you and me

I’m not your enemy

And keep calm and carry on

So much easier said than done

When you don’t know

You don’t know

Keep calm and carry on

So much easier said than done

When you don’t know

You don’t know

Nobody knows

Ohh, nobody knows

Ohh, nobody knows

Why you treat me like a second class citizen?

If you knew me I think you’d think I’m innocent

Try and prove me wrong

Come on and prove me wrong

For someone so antiwar, you’re awfully militant

You always seem so sure until the millionth

Straw comes falling down

Straw comes falling down

I get weary

My eyes get bleary

With every part of my being

Resisting the fear

If you can hear my prayer (my prayer)

There must be someone out there

Out there somewhere

Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-ba

Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

I walked into my salvation

I died a hundred times

It hasn’t been a vacation

But what do you know about dying?

And what do you know about time?

I get weary (Why you treat me like a)

My eyes get bleary (Second class citizen?)

With every part of my being (If you knew me)

Resisting the fear (I think you’d think I’m innocent)

If you can hear my prayer (Try and prove me wrong)

There must be someone out there (Come on and prove me)

Out there somewhere (Wrong)

Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-ba

Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

I walked so far to get away from all the noise

I packed my car full to the brim with all my toys

And finally, nothing but the rush of wind

The story in the sky

I closed my eyes

But all I could see was Wile E. Coyote jumping off a cliff

And all I could hear were the greatest hits from 1996

And all I could think was

How hard it is to start a friendship in your thirties

And how

We’re always working for money so we can buy time

But even when we get the stuff

Don’t you know it’s never enough

Never enough never enough

To make it last

I had to leave just to return another day

I tried believing I’d return a different way

And suddenly

I could see a woman I had never seen before

She closed the door

Then alI I could see was a 7th grader standing in the mirror

And all I could hear was the sound of chariots getting near

And all I could think was

How hard it is to start a friendship in your thirties

And how

We’re always working for money so we can buy time

But even when we get the stuff

Don’t you know it’s never enough

It’s never enough, never enough

Never enough, never enough

Never enough, never enough

To change the past

It’s alright, it’s alright

Don’t stop now

It’s alright

It’s alright, it’s alright

Don’t stop now

It’s alright

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright

I want to be carefree

I want to change my fate

I want to rewind time

But I fear it’s too late

I want to learn to laugh

With abandon

Give me a polygraph

And I’ll paint your picture

Why’d you have to ask me

What I wanted to be?

Couldn’t you just let me breathe?

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

What a luxury not to know

To give a gift

And have it be received

I can’t sleep at night

Without these same old dreams

Call me uptight

But it’s a cruel joke

Living in the inbetween

Why’d you have to ask me

What I wanted to be?

Couldn’t you just let me breathe?

If getting a degree

Would make me happy, set me free

Honey, what a luxury

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

When the light shines down on me

Will it break the fantasy?

No more unrequited dreams

No more misdirected pleas

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

Nothing good comes easily

No, no, no, no

Nothing good comes easily

I may sound whiny cause I am

And I feel tiny as a clam

Mama said the world’s my oyster

In the midst of all the noise

Her words have never seemed so distant

This is not where I thought I’d be by now

I want to be famous

I want to live off the grid

I want to travel the world

I want a house full of kids

I want to become vegan

I want to take up hunting

I want I want I want I want

I want to stop wanting

Ba-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da

Ba-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da

Everyone around me seems to know

We’re on some hidden camera show

Are you happy clocking in?

Was that parking space a win?

Lucky is the man who knows his song

Before he even starts singing

I want to be humble

I want to make lots of money

I want to be taken seriously

I want to be funny

I want to just do nothing

And be known for something

I want I want I want I want

I want to stop wanting

Do I disappoint you?

Do I make you proud?

If you had the choice

Would you still want me around?

See, I’m still not sure what life is all about

If we give up trying does it make a sound?

Am I almost there or did I pass my prime?

In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line?

How am I still asking after all this time?

In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line?

Do I disappoint you?

Do I make you proud?

If you had the choice would you still want me around?

See, I’m still not sure what living’s all about

If we give up trying, does it make a sound?

Am I almost there or (Ba-da-da-da)

Did I pass my prime? (Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)

In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line? (Da-da-da-da-da-da)

How am I still asking (Ba-da-da-da)

After all this time? (Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)

How am I still asking after all this time? (Da-da-da-da-da-da)

Sometimes my brain’s like a broken record

Skipping the parts that make it sound better

Idling lonely, only slightly out of key

Take a hot shower

Bow to the coffee

“Own your own power”

Blares from the pulpit we call TV

And that’s why

I can’t hear you when I close my eyes

All I can hear are the sounds of whirring machines

Take me away to the paradise beyond the screens

Passing cars are the poor man’s ocean

Reminds me of summer and suntan lotion

What I wouldn’t give to go back to that place

Hands on the wheel

Tune out the chatter

Try not to feel

Hold on for Saturday

And that’s why

I can’t hear you when I close my eyes

All I can hear are the sounds of warring machines

Take me away to the paradise beyond the screens

So I’m sitting here thinking of you

And 1500 other things to do

And I know that’s why

You’ve just become one of them

So I start to make a new choice

And my heart remembers your voice

Quiet as a hum

I know you’re close when you feel so far away

I know you’re close (I know you’re close)

When you feel so far away

I know you’re close (I know you’re close)

When you feel so far away

I know you’re close (I know you’re close)

When you feel so far away

I know you’re close when you feel so far away

Free my mind

It’s hard to find

The way among the imitations

Searching for the only door

But I got lost

Cause I’m impatient

And now I know I need you

Truth is I always knew

But I wanted to see if I could do it on my own

Before I let you lead me

And you let me

Knock, knock, knocking on exits

Walk, walking back to the starting line

Knock, knocking on exits

Talk, talk, talking like I’m running out of time

In between the shifting scenes

You’ll catch a glimpse of Clarity

She wears a suit and plays the flute

And disappeared while

You were busy brooding

And now I know I need you

Truth is I always do

Knock, knock, knocking on exits

Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line

Knock, knocking on exits

Talk, talk, talking like I’ve lost my mind

I need your compass

I need your light

I need direction

I need your counsel

I need a sign

Cause I can’t do this

Alone

Knock, knocking on exits

Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line

Knock, knocking on exits (Knocking on exits)

Talk, talking like I’m running out of time

Knock, knock, knocking on exits (I’m running out)

(I’m running out)

Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line

Knock, knocking on exits (Knock, knocking on exits)

Talk, talk, talking like I’ve lost

My mind

It’s not right to look inside one’s head for too long

You can get lost in tiny thoughts

And no one knows where you’ve gone

If you’re not in the mood for gratitude

Then I can’t help you

So many of us would rather live a lie

Than die in truth

So go outside and breathe the air

Don’t be scared to stop and stare

Stay a while and be a child of God

Climb a mountain or go fishing

The heart beats without your permission

We’re only here to be conduits of love

Ohh-ohh-ohh

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh

Spent all night trying to purge my mind

Of things from my past

When you live in photographs, you get nowhere fast

And worry’s like sitting in your living room

In a rocking chair

It’ll give you something to do

But it won’t get you anywhere

So go outside and breathe the air

Don’t be scared to stop and stare

Stay awhile and be a child of God

Climb a mountain or go fishing

The heart beats without your permission

We’re only here to be conduits of love

Ohh-ohh-ohh

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh

And it’s not good to spend too much time on the internet

Humans weren’t created to be baited all day into guilt and regret

Entertained by other people’s pain till I can’t even feel

I look out the window and ask myself is this even real?

Then I got outside and breathe the air

Knowing there’s a rainbow somewhere

Even if I can’t see it with my own eyes

Smell the flowers

Smile at my neighbor

Write a song with pen and paper

Marvel at the magnitude of the skies

Go outside and breathe the air

It’s ok to stop and stare

Stay awhile and be a child of God

Climb a mountain or go fishing

The heart beats without your permission

We’re only here to be conduits of love

Ohh-ohh-ohh

Ohh-ohh-ohh

Ohh-ohh-ohh

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh

I don’t like the way you pour your coffee

I don’t like the way you draw your blinds

I don’t want to say that we stop talking

And I don’t want to talk all of the time

And if I’m falling from grace

At least I’m falling in your embrace

I can’t recall a time I didn’t wake

Up in the morning just to see your face

I don’t like you, I love you

It’s never the other way around

I don’t hate you I just want to

Shake you till the walls come crashing down

And if I’m falling from grace

At least I’m falling in your embrace

And at the end of the longest day

You’re still the last song on my record, babe

It’s hard to be alone in the world

I would never choose that fate

It’s hard to be with me but see

It’s the easiest choice to make

It’s the easiest choice to make

To Make

To Make

And if I’m falling from grace

At least I’m falling in your embrace

I can’t recall a time I didn’t wake

Up in the morning just to see your face

And at the end of the longest day

You’re still the last song on my record, babe

You’re still the last song on my record, babe